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With parenthood, everything changes. You’ve waited nine long months for your bundle of joy, and you are ecstatic about becoming a parent, yet life can be far from perfect.
Priorities change, stress can be exacerbated, relationships can be tested, finding balance becomes a bit more difficult. Some of these challenges, like lack of sleep, feeding challenges, and changing diapers are to be expected. But there are unexpected challenges that can appear as well, and those can be concerning to new parents—and they can keep on coming as your child grows.
Financial Challenges
While you’ve planned for the cost of diapers, daycare and trips to the pediatrician, taken in aggregate parenting can be very expensive. The USDA estimates middle-class parents spend $12,000 to $14,000 on their baby during his or her first year. That doesn’t count the expense of taking unpaid leave or unexpected doctor bills, let alone the sometimes astronomical costs of in vitro fertilization treatment. An unexpected job loss or extra time off work to care for a sick child can compound already fragile finances.
Benefits.gov, from the U.S. government, compiles dozens of state and federal resources for financial assistance. It includes links to unemployment insurance, child tax credits, armed forces tax benefits and more. The site also links to each state’s Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) site. The program provides families with financial assistance and support services.
Coping with Illness
While every new parent hopes their baby arrives in perfect health, sometimes medical intervention is needed. Your baby might have to spend time in the newborn intensive care unit (NICU) if he or she is premature. There might be birth defects that weren’t detected in utero that can alter your expectations of how you will be caring for your child. Parents can also be diagnosed with serious and chronic illnesses, ranging from cancer to diabetes. These can interfere with your time and ability to care for your child.
Chronic illnesses in children, such as asthma, may be diagnosed early and present lifelong challenges. Helping a child with asthma may require ensuing you have excellent indoor air quality, free of smoke, mold, pollen, and pesticides. Getting your air ducts cleaned and installing air filters can help improve air quality.
Support groups can help connect parents with other parents whose babies have been diagnosed with the same illness. Other support groups can help adults cope with their own disease, and there are some that specifically help parents facing serious illnesses. Many groups are facilitated by social workers or people who have dealt with the disease.
Look online or contact your healthcare provider for connections to support groups. PreemieCare offers a listing of U.S. and international support groups for parents of premature babies, while the American Cancer Society has numerous groups to help locally.
Mental Health Concerns
Postpartum depression, which affects 1 in 7 new mothers, is increasingly being recognized in up to 10% of new fathers as well. Symptoms include anxiety, extreme sadness, and exhaustion. The condition can make it difficult to care for your children and yourself. After birth, a mother’s level of the hormones estrogen and progesterone quickly drops. This can trigger mood swings. Sleep deprivation can also hinder recovery from childbirth.
After childbirth, the levels of hormones (estrogen and progesterone) in a woman’s body quickly drop. This leads to chemical changes in her brain that may trigger mood swings. In addition, many mothers are unable to get the rest they need to fully recover from giving birth. In addition to talking with your doctor, the group Postpartum Support International has a helpline you can call.
If you faced a traumatic childhood or abuse, becoming a parent can trigger painful memories of your upbringing. Sometimes losing a parent before or soon after becoming a parent yourself can heighten grief. New parents should be on the lookout for signs of these and other mental health concerns and be prepared to talk them through with a therapist if necessary.
Your child may develop mental health challenges of his or her own as well. Sometimes worry over peers or a visit to the dentist can overwhelm a child with anxiety. ADHD is being diagnosed in a growing number of children as well. The first step in addressing these issues is consulting with your child’s pediatrician.
Day-to-Day Difficulties
There may be other unexpected challenges that crop up for new parents. For some new moms, marital intimacy can take a backseat to caring for a new baby. Between being sleep deprived and on call 24/7 for breastfeeding, new mothers can be overwhelmed. While this can create difficulties between couples, communication is key here for both partners.
Then there are less dire challenges, but ones that can be hard all the same. Sometimes finding ways to entertain and interact with your kids can be time-consuming and difficult. Finding new ways to more easily stimulate your kids is necessary, especially if you have older children and a new baby. Having a closet of craft supplies or games can help with boredom on a cold winter day or rainy afternoon, for example.
As a new parent, you’ll soon start to expect the unexpected. You can help meet these challenges by having the resources available for advice and support.
Great job drawing our attention to real life experiences of many families and how to make the most of the situations.
However, while the article stressed the existence of children as major factors, the place of pets as integral parts of the family (for many) shouldn’t be left out.
This is given how pets can fall ill, demand financial commitments in well being, among others.
Once again, great job with this article and site at large!